Monday, January 27, 2014



Harsh words brought hurt,
humiliation, rendering null
the rules, relationship would
claim, as ridicule did crowd
the heart, caught in brittle
chains; changing who you
were; giving birth to some
thing new, brazen and
unknown; bone-hard your
mind now drew, a pretty
list of platitudes to pay
her back in pain, demand
translation from the heart;
your tongue would still
deride. Like tarragon
which runs amok, when
not brought to the spade,
the woman drowned
in water, tears; you watch
and will not say, that every
single action, each sacrifice
she made was obvious,
connected; the sky wept
tears of shame. Like bitter
orange, scented, no oil as
balm to grace, in desperate
asking she beseeched, some
answers; all betrayed.
In darkness deeply gathered,
desire from long-lost days,
as memory like locusts
spread; the lunatic you made.

harsh, hurt, humiliation, Annell
rendering, rules, ridicule, Jules
crowd, caught, changing, Elizabeth
birth, brazen, bone,  Nicole
pretty, pay, platitudes,  Marian
translation, tarragon, tongue,  Irene
water, watch, woman,   Roslyn
single, sacrifice, sky,  Robyn
obvious, orange, oil,  Barbara
asking, all, answers,  Misky
desire, darkness, deeply,  Elizabeth again
lunatic, locusts, lived,   Belva


  1. I can feel the pain and humiliation here, the distain of easy answers and finally the despair. Nicely done and I think you managed to use all the words!

  2. The pain of those harsh words runs from the first line all the way to the last.

  3. The sense of outrage, perhaps betrayal here, is clear and vivid. I found a similar emotion in these words as well,


  4. Well said, and I've been on both sides of this. Not proud of the one side, and no excuses.
    Very right-on write, Roslyn. Well done!

  5. harsh words that drown and change a person...makes her put up fences and create defense mechanisms... really a felt write... and it's not easy to escape...

  6. the sky wept tears of shame - I can almost see it - very nice

  7. Strong piece...most definitely felt.

  8. WHOA! This is indeed a very strong piece, an amazing use of the prompt words, and and unraveling of a person from start to finish all due to harsh words. I would love to hear this read out loud.


  9. You chose very powerful words and wove them to create a stark, strong tale. Enjoyed it.