Saturday, March 21, 2015

Calling

Her voice whimpered,
crossing oceans of mind,
sailing on distant seas;
we listened intently.

Her soul was calling,
reeling through aeons,
tracking dark skies;
we waited in silence.

Her self was keening,
grieving through years,
collating all memory;
we watched in sorrow.

Her spirit was aching,
suffering through time,
crucified on each cross;
we hurt in sympathy.

Her life was soaking,
sucked out of flesh,
desiccated  and frail;
we wept by her side.

Her days diminished,
swallowed up slow,
the end inevitable;
we embraced madness.

http://dversepoets.com/2015/03/19/hello-ing-and-good-bying-sort-of/#comment-91875

 

8 comments:

  1. Really a lot of excellent verbs here. Especially keening worked so well here.

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  2. I felt the sorrow - I thought the was stole some of their thunder where "she keened", "her spirit ached" might have worked as well for those excellent verbs. Nice.

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  3. I can really feel the pain and ache in your words... you ACED this write :)

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  4. You have really written in such a way that I feel 'her' pain.

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  5. may be she will attain atonement.............happy world poetry day 21st march

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  6. The verbs you chose effectively create a mood of sadness. If I could make one suggestions, eliminate the gerunds in favor of the active voice like you did in the first stanza. Just a thought. Enjoyed this.

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  7. The Universe of human neurons all connected in bright-lit stars.. a treasure to admire and wonder.. until those star disconnect.. the symphony of soul.. that sings a treasure of heart and spirit.. in hemispheric Undivided.. Universal.. flow..:)

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  8. A heartfelt melancholic tale you have in here - using verbs so wisely to portray it. Well done.

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