In corrugated clarion call
the metal shows its face,
revealing time's persuasion;
surrendering with grace.
In weathered welts of years
the walls and roof have shed,
the brightness of beginning;
donned rusty cloaks instead.
In pock-marked perseverance,
they stand against the sun,
brace for bitter winter nights;
know that age has come.
In weeping shred of flakes,
they drop the skin of youth,
and offer toothless hope;
the years so soon reduced.
In dulled and dusted dressing,
they hold to shape and life,
as wearied, worn, decaying;
no longer shining bright.
In days of shuddered sleeping,
they hold horizon's hand,
and echo tales forgotten;
lost part of someone's plan.
RUSTY
3a : of the color rust
b : dulled in color or appearance by age and use <rusty old boots>
http://www.trifectawritingchallenge.com/2013/06/trifecta-week-eighty-three.html?utm_source=feedburner&utm_medium=email&utm_campaign=Feed%3A+trifectawritingchallenge%2FIazs+%28Trifecta%29
I loved this movement and rhythm in this one. Excellent write, Roslyn.
ReplyDeleteThis is beautiful and melancholy. The passage of time was well visualized.
ReplyDeleteso much is beautiful in this - two of my absolute favorite phrases are . . .
ReplyDeleteIn weeping shred of flakes,
they drop the skin of youth,
and
In days of shuddered sleeping,
they hold horizon's hand,
thanks for linking up this week.
Thanks for taking the time to comment in detail.
DeleteI do appreciate people taking the time to comment.
ReplyDeleteI love the cadence of this piece. Beautiful and a bit sad. Lovely work.
ReplyDeleteThis does have a sadness to it, but so many phrases so beautifully say, "they 'ain't what they used to be." For instance, 'donning rusty cloaks' sound so much more eloquent than 'rusted out'.
ReplyDeleteBEAUTIFUL. I loved so much about this, and it's a pleasure to read it out loud too.
ReplyDeleteThis is both heartwrenching and beautiful all in one. Exquisite writing.
ReplyDelete"In weathered welts of years" - wow, great line! Really great writing throughout.
ReplyDelete