Sunday, October 20, 2013


In dribbled tease serenity does gather in my mouth,
wanting only to digest what time consumes in trust,
as morsels made in moments mad and meddled,
where reason does lie chewed; no more than crust,
like remnants of a meal from mind befuddled;
the dregs and dross of drowning hopes of youth.

When teeth do rot and crumble into shapes supine,
then so do all those futures, possible or not,
wherein the dreams of Self are mortared into shape,
discard themselves like shards of mirror dropped,
as that which Soul has lost; forgotten as it gropes;
on paths which trace the patterns writ sublime.

Then so is hope in silent choke so steadily revealed,
as vapour from the jasmine which will rise,
no matter night or day, or heat or steady cold, immersed,
for purpose has its power and strength besides,
the signature of being, unique and ever brought to birth;
and there, in pure creation, does peace, eternal breathe.


  1. ros this is fresh....first i like the serenity gathering in teh mouth...the digest...and time consuming in trust....strong opening lines....hope in silent choke revealed as well...its a good way....

    1. Thanks Brian. I certainly value your opinion. It's an approach which seems to have taken hold in recent times but I wasn't sure how well it worked. Your comment is encouraging.

  2. This is very well done. Your lines flow in a way that is both stately and lyrical. I really enjoyed this.

    1. Thanks very much. As I said to Brian above, I have only just begun to experiment with this form and I was uncertain. Feedback is very useful.

  3. This is awesome and ambitious form (I'm curious),,,the lyrical reading so mixed with the melancholy I seem to read a lot of today... Especially the second stanza hit home with me..

    1. Thanks for your input. The form is something which arrives, clearly sonnet-like although I doubt it is 'pure' when I say the words out the rhythm dictates the form.

  4. Iambic hexameter - a difficult line length for me but your poem and its topic seems to flow within the structure. I agree with Brian, the topic may not be new but your approach is fresh with insight and lyrical language. Beautiful piece.

    1. Thanks for your comments. As I have remarked elsewhere, it is something I have begun to use in recent times and was not sure about so all of the input I have received is encouraging.