Reality licked sober lips
to feast upon the world,
in sweet and sour surrendering,
of light and taste and sound.
The clouds built solid shapes,
marooned marshmallow form,
and floated on a syrup sea,
of sky, in sharp line drawn.
The earth spread heavy table,
beneath deep heaven's song,
and gathered up the foods of life;
devoured what was begun.
In shocking shapes the universe,
revealed its hidden plans,
brought perfumed truth to being;
said this is who I am.
We’d like you to look at altering the conventional descriptive sense and language you apply within your poem. As above for example, “sky” would more commonly be described with visual cues, but here we used auditory mated to an albeit colored reference that also invokes a sense of taste. Getting the idea? Whatever’s the convention, you use descriptive terms that seemingly don’t apply – then observe what that does to the experience of the poem.
http://wewritepoems.wordpress.com/2012/11/22/prompt-133-listen-to-the-sky-turning-raspberry-red/
to feast upon the world,
in sweet and sour surrendering,
of light and taste and sound.
The clouds built solid shapes,
marooned marshmallow form,
and floated on a syrup sea,
of sky, in sharp line drawn.
The earth spread heavy table,
beneath deep heaven's song,
and gathered up the foods of life;
devoured what was begun.
In shocking shapes the universe,
revealed its hidden plans,
brought perfumed truth to being;
said this is who I am.
We’d like you to look at altering the conventional descriptive sense and language you apply within your poem. As above for example, “sky” would more commonly be described with visual cues, but here we used auditory mated to an albeit colored reference that also invokes a sense of taste. Getting the idea? Whatever’s the convention, you use descriptive terms that seemingly don’t apply – then observe what that does to the experience of the poem.
http://wewritepoems.wordpress.com/2012/11/22/prompt-133-listen-to-the-sky-turning-raspberry-red/
Wow - a new mythology of beginning. The short form :)
ReplyDeleteBefore today I had never heard of synaesthesia. I saw it mentioned on another poem for WWP 133. But I just looked it up now. After looking it up - I can understand your comment. Thank you for your visit to my offering of 'On the Fly'
I love `perfumed truth to being'
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