Aloof the senses sundering,
cool, distant, uninvolved,
distaste for feelings totally;
the heart must be absolved.
Temporary time becomes,
without you in my life,
all is doomed impermanent;
hours of bitter strife.
'Whole,' the angels whisper,
'is what you become,
when the path is fully walked;
when these days are done.'
http://www.threewordwednesday.com/
cool, distant, uninvolved,
distaste for feelings totally;
the heart must be absolved.
Temporary time becomes,
without you in my life,
all is doomed impermanent;
hours of bitter strife.
'Whole,' the angels whisper,
'is what you become,
when the path is fully walked;
when these days are done.'
http://www.threewordwednesday.com/
Il love all of this but especially the last verse which is like a culmination of lessons learnt (maybe as a result of verses one and two)
ReplyDelete'Whole,' the angels whisper,
ReplyDelete'is what you become,
when the path is fully walked;
when these days are done.'
Well, at least he managed to transform himself for the better, a wholesome being! wonderful lines Roslyn!
Hank
A poem with beautiful flow. I love the angels' message in the closing stanza.
ReplyDeleteFood for thought.
ReplyDeleteGood take on the prompt.
ReplyDeleteI like the culmination as your verse builds upon itself - excellent
ReplyDeleteIs this the product of some poetry knitting circle?
ReplyDeleteIt has the contrived structure of a year 8 poetry exercise, no originality, no tension, just trite and cliched sentiment.