Friday, May 1, 2015

Blind mouths

Blind mouths spew forth
words which cannot see,
devoid of vision distant;
destined never to be free.

Stammering eyes reveal,
in shuttered, false image,
the world as it is not;
deceptive, mind-spillage.

Crippled thoughts spill,
broken, shattered bones,
refusing to find form;
sounding brittle tones.

Bandaged reason sits,
bloodied and forlorn,
madness takes its place;
chaos then is born.

http://dversepoets.com/2015/04/30/mtb-cathachresis-and-recycling-cliches/#comment-94009

14 comments:

  1. "mind spillage"... like this!!

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  2. I really like the middle stanza, there is a great darkness in those sentences.

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  3. This is a darker take on the prompt - makes our light-hearted efforts seem a little shallow in comparison.
    The mixing up of our senses makes for some very interesting results.

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  4. Ah! That is really good. I loved the second stanza.
    Dark and yet comforting in a way. Chaos is the beginning and chaos is the end after all.
    -HA

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  5. the parameters of the prompt were rocked with your /stammering eyes/crippled thoughts/ & /bandaged reason/. I enjoyed the darkness, the strength of the piece; a perfect juxtaposition to some of the levity encountered out on the trail.

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  6. nicely done -you've presented something makes sense in the midst of the broken cliches.

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  7. Wow, this is profound. Well done.

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  8. This is great. In spite of the seeming nonsense of it, it makes perfect sense and makes a point that would have seemed drab with non-mixed metaphors. That the mouth is blind and the eyes stammer, that the thoughts are crippled and the reason bandaged, is brilliant. Peace, Linda

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  9. Excellent write, so deep. Chaos is here.
    Anna :o]

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  10. A serious interpretation of the prompt and it works so well. I love "blind mouths", "stammering eyes", "bandaged reason". You have taken metaphors to a level that is very thought provoking. Loved it.

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  11. you had me hooked with the first 2 lines. Far too often has my mouth blindly spewed forth words that I later wished I could take back.

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  12. Certainly the abuse of language and reason leads to chaos...well done!

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  13. I like the complete image of the poem, however, mind spillage and that last stanza are fantastic.

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  14. Thanks everyone. I do appreciate your thoughts. It was a prompt I found inspiring and which may well hold its place for me.

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