Blind mouths spew forth
words which cannot see,
devoid of vision distant;
destined never to be free.
Stammering eyes reveal,
in shuttered, false image,
the world as it is not;
deceptive, mind-spillage.
Crippled thoughts spill,
broken, shattered bones,
refusing to find form;
sounding brittle tones.
Bandaged reason sits,
bloodied and forlorn,
madness takes its place;
chaos then is born.
http://dversepoets.com/2015/04/30/mtb-cathachresis-and-recycling-cliches/#comment-94009
words which cannot see,
devoid of vision distant;
destined never to be free.
Stammering eyes reveal,
in shuttered, false image,
the world as it is not;
deceptive, mind-spillage.
Crippled thoughts spill,
broken, shattered bones,
refusing to find form;
sounding brittle tones.
Bandaged reason sits,
bloodied and forlorn,
madness takes its place;
chaos then is born.
http://dversepoets.com/2015/04/30/mtb-cathachresis-and-recycling-cliches/#comment-94009
"mind spillage"... like this!!
ReplyDeleteI really like the middle stanza, there is a great darkness in those sentences.
ReplyDeleteThis is a darker take on the prompt - makes our light-hearted efforts seem a little shallow in comparison.
ReplyDeleteThe mixing up of our senses makes for some very interesting results.
Ah! That is really good. I loved the second stanza.
ReplyDeleteDark and yet comforting in a way. Chaos is the beginning and chaos is the end after all.
-HA
the parameters of the prompt were rocked with your /stammering eyes/crippled thoughts/ & /bandaged reason/. I enjoyed the darkness, the strength of the piece; a perfect juxtaposition to some of the levity encountered out on the trail.
ReplyDeletenicely done -you've presented something makes sense in the midst of the broken cliches.
ReplyDeleteWow, this is profound. Well done.
ReplyDeleteThis is great. In spite of the seeming nonsense of it, it makes perfect sense and makes a point that would have seemed drab with non-mixed metaphors. That the mouth is blind and the eyes stammer, that the thoughts are crippled and the reason bandaged, is brilliant. Peace, Linda
ReplyDeleteExcellent write, so deep. Chaos is here.
ReplyDeleteAnna :o]
A serious interpretation of the prompt and it works so well. I love "blind mouths", "stammering eyes", "bandaged reason". You have taken metaphors to a level that is very thought provoking. Loved it.
ReplyDeleteyou had me hooked with the first 2 lines. Far too often has my mouth blindly spewed forth words that I later wished I could take back.
ReplyDeleteCertainly the abuse of language and reason leads to chaos...well done!
ReplyDeleteI like the complete image of the poem, however, mind spillage and that last stanza are fantastic.
ReplyDeleteThanks everyone. I do appreciate your thoughts. It was a prompt I found inspiring and which may well hold its place for me.
ReplyDelete